Autumn

Today is the first day of Autumn. Soon it will be October. I used to dread this time of year, as it always reminds me of those dark days in 1989. Its unavoidable really....theres just something in the air. This year it feels okay though. I have learned over the years, that its not so much the anniversary that hits you the hardest...its the sunny day in April when you just really need to speak to them, or when you want to share some good news with them...those are the worst times. Because I still feel like I only saw them yesterday...and I often feel they are with me...I feel like I m in a time warp. 16 years have whizzed by and here I am aged 34....and here comes another anniversary. Its very strange being me!!!! This time of year sort of gives me permission to be sad if I want to be...but I often find I dont want to be ...and thats okay. So Im looking forward to the Autumn....digging out the jumpers,hats ,scarves ...the fresher air...and the happy memories.x